The coolest thing happened today. I turned 50.
The popular zeitgeist tells me I should be mourning the loss of my youth because as a half-centenarian, this is the beginning of the slow decline toward hair loss, incontinence, taking to the bed and death.
In the word’s of Hunter S. Thompson: “Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave in a well-preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy shit…what a ride!'”
What the zeitgeist doesn’t know is I’ve been slowly losing my hair for about 30 years and I’ve already lived through incontinence. My future nursing home attendant won’t have to change my poopy diapers; an ostomy appliance is much easier to manage. As for death: Well, that bitch has been waiting for a while already.
I welcome 50 with wide-open arms. God’s grace has kept me here when cancer was supposed to take me out. I’ve outlived my expiration date by seven years, and I don’t plan to leave this world anytime soon.
Why?
I am blessed with a most wonderful life that includes the love of a great woman; loving friends and family; a job I love; a great church home; a passion for cancer advocacy; a roof over my head; and the smartest dog in the world.
I’m grateful for the life I have, and I look for the magic in every day: the quick view of the mountains when I round the corner of my neighborhood, holding hands with the lovely Sarah when we’re in the car, talking about God with Tristan when I pick up my meals at Clean Eatz each week, brainstorming with my boss Wendy when I wake up with a bright idea, photos of the Indiana wind farm when a constantly-on-the-road friend passes through, text messages from people I care about, Marley dog wagging her tail when I get home every day.
I’ve lived a wonderfully charmed life so far, and to bastardize the words of Lin Manuel Miranda in Hamilton:
“Michael Holtz. My name is Michael Holtz. And there’s a million things I haven’t done, But just you wait, just you wait.”
You ain’t seen nothing yet!
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